When Life Isn’t Soft, But You Choose to Be
I was brainstorming for this blog when I came across the concept of a “soft era” or “soft summer.” Honestly, I had never heard of anything like it before.
If you’re unfamiliar, a soft era is typically portrayed as a life full of perfect mornings, flawless matcha lattes, aesthetically curated homes, luxury items, dewy skin, effortlessly styled outfits—you get the idea. When I first saw it, I cringed. Because let’s be real—life is anything but perfect. And the reality? Most people aren’t living in a soft era. Myself included.
It’s not that people don’t have beautiful things or peaceful moments. But I’ve come to believe that the real soft era isn’t rooted in circumstances or material things. It’s a mindset. It’s a choice.
And if that’s the case, then… my life this summer has been anything but soft.
My moving plans fell apart last minute, causing financial stress and anxiety. I’ve had loved ones become seriously ill. I hit a major breaking point in my relationship with my fiancé—so much so that I truly wondered if we’d make it through. I could go on about all the curveballs and chaos, but that’s not the point of this post.
Here’s the thought that keeps echoing in my heart:
What if softness isn’t about how life looks—but how we choose to move through it?
My life hasn’t felt soft at all. But here’s what it looked like to choose softness in the midst of the storm.
My Definition of Soft
Soft for me has nothing to do with aesthetics. It looks like:
Choosing rest over the hustle
Letting myself feel instead of numbing
Setting boundaries, even when it’s hard
Releasing the need to control when everything feels uncertain
These aren’t the things trending online—and that’s a shame. Because choosing yourself, especially over the comfort of others, is one of the most powerful things you can do. It builds deep, lasting resilience.
And yes—these choices can feel hard. But they’re the true building blocks of a soft life.
This Summer Wasn’t What I Expected—But I Chose Me
This summer has been a whirlwind. I haven’t made perfect choices, but I’m proud of myself for doing the hard things no one else sees.
I gave myself grace after every challenge. I allowed myself more breaks than usual. I asked for help. I hired a maid (honestly, one of the best decisions I’ve ever made). I ordered takeout. I gave in to some much-needed retail therapy (thank you, Target).
Was it perfect? No. But it was soft in the ways that mattered.
And truthfully, it was hard to let my pride go. I grew up believing that if you weren’t cooking, cleaning, and taking care of everyone else, you weren’t doing enough—weren’t a “successful woman.” So hiring someone to clean my home brought up guilt I didn’t expect.
But I’ve been emotionally burned out—between a draining 9–5 and pouring my soul into being a life coach and content creator. I simply couldn’t do it all. And I function so much better in a clean space. (Clean home, clear mind.)
Softness, in this case, looked like surrender. And I’m proud of myself for it.
Redefining the Soft Life
If you’re also in a season that feels anything but gentle, I want to empower you to define your own soft era. Here are some reminders I’ve come back to again and again:
You’re not behind if your life doesn’t look like Pinterest
Peace is a priority, not a luxury
You’re allowed to choose ease, even when things are hard
Rest is productive
Saying “no” is sacred
Your softness doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s
Life doesn’t always hand us softness—but that doesn’t mean we can’t create it.
Whether your soft life starts with a 10-minute break, a deep breath, or saying no to something that drains you—you deserve it.
Feel free to DM me or comment below with how you’re creating your own soft era. I’d love to hear from you.
Wishing you an ease-filled week ahead.
Take care,
MM
